You asked, they listened: You can finally see baseball players’ cocks.


If you’re thinking, “I don’t remember requesting this!” — well, someone must have, because Major League Baseball recently debuted their new uniforms, and they’re pretty much completely see-through.



According to Today, “The new uniforms were designed by Nike and manufactured by Fanatics, with the goal of boosting performance and keeping everyone cool in the heat of the summer months.”


One of the side effects of this switch, however, is that the white pants are pretty thin — and as any observer of a wet T-shirt contest can attest, this can lead to some things getting revealed that the players would rather have kept to themselves.



To make matters worse, a report from The Athletic says that many teams haven’t even been given enough of the clear pants for all of their players, leading to many re-wearing their pants from last season for spring training. At least these guys can cover their johnsons!


“There are teams that have pants and jerseys,” Major League Baseball Players Association (MLBPA) executive director Tony Clark said. “There are some teams that don’t have pants. There are other teams that are supposed to be receiving certain things before the start of the year. There are others that — in the event they have an issue with the pants and a player needs a new pair — don’t have anything in reserve.”



Even for those who have jerseys, there have been numerous complaints about how the outfits look — and not just because you can see if your shortstop is packing. “An unnamed veteran on the Baltimore Orioles told the Baltimore Banner that they look like ‘a knockoff jersey from T.J. Maxx,’ while Philadelphia Phillies shortstop Trea Turner said ‘I know everyone hates them,’” reads a piece from NBC Los Angeles.



Despite the problems, MLB has gone to great lengths to defend the new looks, even posting a ~1,000-word article on its website documenting all of the research, effort and sweat that went into making the gear.


Apparently, all that work wasn’t enough, though, as the MLBPA is “reportedly working on solving the issue before the regular season gets underway next month,” per Today.



I say keep the jerseys, but make only the away team wear them. Sure, this idea can be workshopped, but in my opinion, there’s no greater homefield advantage than having your opponent play as close to nude as possible.